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QOUTES...
"Scientia est Potentia" -- "Knowledge is Power"
Laughter is the closest distance between two people."
Logic - the art of being wrong with confidence.
"
There is nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot!"
"A wise man speaks because he has something to say, a fool because he has to say something." -Plato
An idea (idealogy) is not responsible for the people who believe in it.
"1935 will go down in History! For the first time, a civilized nation has
full gun registration! Our streets will be safer, our police more efficient
and the world will follow our lead to the future!" -- Adolf Hitler
"A man with one watch knows what time it is, a man with two watches is never sure..." -- Albert Einstein
"Definition of a Jury: Twelve persons chosen to decide who has the betterlawyer." -- Robert Frost
"Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one."-- A. J. Liebling
"... but I did not inhale it!, and I did not have sex with that women.--
Bill Kill-in-tone" -- an Iraqi newspaper after President Clinton defended
an air attack as necessary for peace.
"Western Democracy: Two wolves and a sheep voting on what's for dinner." -- Mahatma Ghandi
"The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." - Shakespeare
"The universe is like a safe to which there is a combination -- but the combination is locked up in the safe." -- Peter DeVries
"
... Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror, and you would not have been informed." - A Radio Broadcast
the IQ of the group is the lowest IQ of a member of the group divided by the number of people in the group.
"The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters." -- Jean-Paul Kauffmann
"The surest protection against temptation is cowardice."-- Mark Twain
"Puberty is when you separate the boys from the girls." - Beakman
"If you think education is expensive, try ignorance" -- Woody Allen
"Friends are often more jealous than useful"-- Alaric B. Williams
"No one can hurt your feelings without your consent." - E. Roosevelt
"The more you learn, the better your luck." --proverb
"The one who says it cannot be done should never interrupt the one who isdoing it." --zinger
"If you view your problem closely enough you will recognize yourself as partof the problem." --zinger
"Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember." -- Oscar Levant
"Ignorance is the Mother of Devotion" -- Richard Burton
"In an intellectually equal society, who will be the busboys?" --Lenny Bruce
"We are all INFOHOLICS :-)" -- Pontus Berg(?
"Patience: A minor form of despair disguised as virtue." -- Ambrose Bierce
"Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel." -- Samuel Johnson (1709--1784)
"Only when the last plant has died and the last river been poisoned and the
last fish been caught will we realize that we cannot eat money." --- 19th
Century Cree
"The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from!."-- Andrew S. Tanenbaum
"If you want something bad enough, you will get it.When you get
it, you may wonder why you wanted it." -- Andreas Tovornik
"I have found out and am still finding out that the guys that nice women
confide in and ask favors of are not the same as the ones who they have realrelationships
with." -- Kurt Deichmann
"Never underestimate the power of human stupidity." -- Lazarus Long
"I have never seen a statue of a committee." -- unknown
"If it ain't broken, don't fix it." -- Ronald Reagan
"If privacy is outlawed, only outlaws will have privacy." -- Philip Zimmermann.
"He who will not reason, is a bigot; he who cannot is a fool; and he who dares not is a slave." -- Sir William Drummond
The universe is like a safe to which there is a combination
-- but the combination is locked up in the safe. -- Peter DeVries
"Committee, n.: A group of people that, when given the task of deciding whether
to start array indices from either 0 or 1, compromises to declarethat they
are to start from 0.5." - ~Stan Kelly-Bootle
"The US government spends billions and billions of dollars on bombs andwelfare
-- hard to say which is more destructive." - N.H's.D., paraphrased
"Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is introuble again." --proverb
"There is a road to freedom. Its milestones are Obedience, Endeavor, Honesty,
Order, Cleanliness, Sobriety, Truthfulness, Sacrifice, and love of the Fatherland."
-- Adolf Hitler
"This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force." -- Dorothy Parker
"There is always death and taxes. However death doesn't get worse every year." -- Robert Merritt
"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist........ "-- last words of General John Sedgwick (1864)
"To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk." -- Thomas Edison
"(...) can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety,
They deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin
"Near as I can tell, complaining about not getting the latest version
of an operating system is like complaining about not getting the latest versionof
influenza." --James Nicoll
"Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives." -- John Stuart Mill (1806--1873)
Bucy's Law: Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man
The Cyber world culture is so rich it is replaced every three days...-- Adrian Pepper, describing Usenet culture
.
"You should start with the customer's experience and then work backward to
the technology -- not the other way around." - Steve Jobs, May 16th, 1997
"Half of the results of a good intention are evil; half the results of an evil intention are good." -- Sam Clemmons
"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live." -- Norman Cousins
"Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any
good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats." -- Howard Aiken
"Some people dream of success, others stay up and make it happen." --unknown
Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists." -- John Kenneth Galbraith
"For every credibility gap, there is a gullibility fill." -- R. Clopton
"Being honest is another form of selfishness." -- Rajan Sachdeva(?)
"Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate." -- Jone's Motto
"Alimony: the screwing you get for the screwing you got." --Chris Szurgot(?)
"All games contain the idea of death." -- Jim Morrison
"No taxation without misrepresentation!" -- Sarah Mahailovich
"Americans like to talk about (or be told about) Democracy but, when put
tothe test, usually find it to be an `inconvenience.'" -- Frank Zappa
"All men are mortal. Socrates was mortal. Therefore, all men are Socrates." -- Woody Allen
Thoughts on MTV: "There is no public entertainment which does not inflict spiritual damage" -- Tertullian
"Are vegetarians allowed to eat animal crackers?" -- Evan Leibovitch(?)
"Are you my manager or my messenger?!" --Mike Galluchon
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you're thinking about a mother.-Cliff Clavin, Cheers
"A friend is a present you give to yourself" -- Don Leed(?)
A friend hears the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails.-- Reader's Digest
"A great many people think they are thinking when they are merelyrearranging
their prejudices." -- William James (1842--1910)
"A lawyer is an expert on justice in the same way that a whore is anexpert on love." - s967701@umslvma.umsl.edu
A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.--zinger
A student who changes the course of history is probably taking an exam.
"A University without students is like an ointment without a fly."
-- Ed Nather, professor of astronomy at UT Austin
"And that's when I looked down at the end of the leash and saw that I was'Buck-naked'." - Kelly Bundy, Married... With Children
"Another kind of perfect 10: A 4 with a 6-pack." - Gary Benson
"Apology accepted, Captain Needa." - Darth Vader
"Art is not a mirror. Art is a hammer." -- Darin Powell(?)
"Maxwell's rules of precision: 1: Measure with a micrometer2: Mark with chalk3: Cut with an axe"
Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand!
[Love]--it's 75% hormones, 10% delusion, and 15% sheer desperation, usually...- Richard Watts?
-- Victor Borge
"The Soviet Union was bound to fall, it was on the edge of the map!." -Kelly Bundy, married with children.
"
The reward of a thing well done is to have done it". -- Emerson
Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else-- unless it is an enemy." -- Albert Einstein
"Be yourself. Who else is better qualified?" - Kathy Thurber
"Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it." -- Olivier
"
Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated." -- M. C. Ree
"Having a smoking section in a resteraunt is likehaving a urinating section in a swimming pool!!!" -- A. Murray
"Eye of newt, spleen of censor..." -- Bill Marcum(?)
"Two wrongs do not make a right" -- proverb
"Warfare is based on deception"-- Ali bin Abu Taleb, shared by Sun Tzu
"Wedding rings: the world's smallest handcuffs." - Judi Phelps
"We are not inheriting the Earth from our ancestors, we areborrowing it from our children." -- Environmantal Conference
"When a nation's young men are conservative, its funeral bell isalready rung." -- Henry Ward Beecher
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it."-- Clarence Darrow
"When money talks, the criminal walks." -- Legal System proverb
"When your outgo exceeds your income, your upkeep becomes your downfall." --Reader's Digest
"When you flame gold, you only burn away the impurities." -- P. K.
"Which is the non-smoking lifeboat?" -- Eric Praetzel
"You're never really alone if you have yourself and your spirituality".-- Susan Ott-Lin
"You can't unscramble scrambled eggs" -- Gershwin
"Your imagination is your preview of life's coming attractions." -- Albert Einstein
"Nothing resolves design issues like an implementation."--Prof. J.D. Horton, UNB
UNKNOWN QOUTES
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
Where there's a will, there's an Inheritance Tax.
When all other means of communication fail, try words.
Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.
Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterda
You think Oedipus had a problem -- Adam was Eve's mother.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
The higher you soar the smaller you look to those who cannot fly.
"Prejudice will ultimately fail when children finally stop listening to their parents."
"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice Doggie!' until you can find a suitable rock."
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right."
I doubt, therefore I might be.
Money is the root of all wealth and filth.
"People often find it easier to be a result of the past than a cause of
the future."
"Never confuse knowledge with intelligence."
"
If vegetarians eat only vegetables, beware the humanitarians!"
"
If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you really make them think they'll hate you."
"
If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it moves, it's biology. If it does not work, It's politics"
MISC.
Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow you may work.
How comes it's always just when you start getting really
intimate with a girl, that a cop pulls up to your car ?
Glib's Fourth Law of Unreliability: Investment in reliability will increase
until it exceeds the probable cost of errors, or until someone insists on
getting some useful work done
``Would you give up your hands to fly?
That is what the birds have done.'' --The One Thousand Questions
Ever notice that even the busiest people are never too busy to tell you just how busy they are
FAITH is when we accept with our head what we believe in our hearts
Fools rush in where fools have been before
"Eat well, exercise daily, die anyway"
"Eat well, sleep well, and work like hell." - The Astronomers
Thoughtful answers to any questions : service unavailable at this time." --Budgie(?)
"In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice,there is."
Why DID kamikaze pilots wear helmets anyways?!
Consultants are mystical people who ask a company for a number and then give it back to them.
Bill Stewart-Cole Consulting Tip #1: Advertising your services does not solve the problem of overbooking your time.
On another day, I sat and listened like a Buddha
Buddhist to hotdog vendor: "Make me One with everything"
Bumper Sticker: "Horn doesn't work; Watch for finger"
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
"All nouns can be verbed." -- NHD
And here are tonight's hockey scores... ZERO!! Ha ha ha!!!-- _This Hour Has 22 Minutes_
...but, as with most meetings, the real progress came later...- The Astronomers
Nothing is so smiple that it can't get screwed up.
A.A.A.A.A.: An organization for drunks who drive
"AARGH Captain Kirk! I dinna know if the spell checker can takemuch more of this" - Douglas Morton(?)
"Accidents don't just happen; they must be carelessly planned." - Disney
According to the obituary notices, a mean and unimportant person never dies.
Ah say, son, you're about as sharp as a bowlin' ball.
DICTIONARY, Misc. (not in alphabetical order)
Ass, n.: The masculine of 'lass'
Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without
knowledge, of things without parallel." --Ambrose Bierce
Checkuary, n.:
The thirteenth month of the year. Begins New Year's Day and
ends when a person stops absentmindedly writing the old year on his checks
Majority, n.:
That quality that distinguishes a crime from a law."
Committee, n.:
A group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done." -- Fred Allen
Ignisecond, n.:
The overlapping moment of time when the hand is locking the
car door even as the brain is saying, 'my keys are in there!"-- Rich Hall,
"Sniglets
Conway's Law:
In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person must be fired.
Larginylserine, n.:
methionylglutaminylarginyltyrosylglutamylserylluecylphenyialanylalan
The chemical name for tryptophan synthetase A protien, a 1,913-letter enzyme
with 267 amino acids. -- Mrs. Bryne's Dictionary of Unusual, Obscure, and Preposterous Words
Interpreter, n.:
One who enables two persons of different languages to understand each other
by repeating to each what it would have been to the interpreter's advantage
for the other to have said." -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
Court, n.:
A place where they dispense with justice. -- Arthur Train
Committee, n.: A group of people that, when given the task of decidingwhether
to start array indices from either 0 or 1, compromises to declarethat they
are to start from 0.5." - ~Stan Kelly-Bootle
Committee, n.:
A group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done." -- Fred Allen
Bureaucrat, n.:
A person who cuts red tape sideways. -- J. McCabe
Admiration, n.:
Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves." -- Ambrose Bierce
Abstainer, n.:
A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure." -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
Aphorism, n.:
A concise, clever statement.
Bore, n.:
A guy who wraps up a two-minute idea in a two-hour vocabulary." -- Walter Winchell
Spouse, n.:
Someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single
*******
Very funny, Scotty! Now beam down my clothes...
Beware of self-styled experts: an ex is a has-been, and a spurt is a drip under pressure.
Bolub's Fourth Law of Computerdom: Project teams detest weekly progress reporting
because it so vividly manifests their lack of progress.
By doing just a little every day, you can gradually let the task completely overwhelm you.
A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking.
Everything is built top-down, except the first time
expect nothing and you'll never be disappointed
Everyone is a genius. It's just that some people are too stupid to realize it.
Hlade's Law: If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person, he will find an easier way to do it.
don't want a woman who needs me, I need a woman who wants me.
If time heals all wounds, how come the belly button stays the same?
The road to hell is paved with good intentions. And littered with sloppy analysis!
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Oui et la terre est plate! Yes and earth is flat!.
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