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"A wise man speaks because he has something to say, a fool because he has to say something." -Plato
An idea (idealogy) is not responsible for the people who believe in it.
"1935 will go down in History! For the first time, a civilized nation has
full gun registration! Our streets will be safer, our police more efficient
and the world will follow our lead to the future!" -- Adolf Hitler
"A man with one watch knows what time it is,
a man with two watches is never sure..."
-- Albert Einstein
Being honest is another form of selfishness.
-- Rajan Sachdeva(?)
Bucy's Law: Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man.
On another day, I sat and listened like a Buddha.
Buddhist to hotdog vendor: "Make me One with everything"
Bumper Sticker: "Horn doesn't work; Watch for finger"
Alexander Graham Bell: "Mr. Watson, come here, I want you!"
And a voice came back to him: "Meridian Mail... Mr. Watson is on the phone...."
"Alimony: the screwing you get for the screwing you got." --Chris Szurgot(?)
"All games contain the idea of death." -- Jim Morrison
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
All men are mortal. Socrates was mortal. Therefore, all men are Socrates. -- Woody Allen
"All nouns can be verbed." -- NHD
"Americans like to talk about (or be told about) Democracy but, when put
tothe test, usually find it to be an `inconvenience.'" -- Frank Zappa
And God said: E = .mv. - Ze./r, and there was light.
And here are tonight's hockey scores... ZERO!! Ha ha ha!!!-- _This Hour Has 22 Minutes_
...but, as with most meetings, the real progress came later...- The Astronomers
A.A.A.A.A.: An organization for drunks who drive
"AARGH Captain Kirk! I dinna know if the spell checker can takemuch more of this" - Douglas Morton(?)
"Accidents don't just happen; they must be carelessly planned." - Disney
According to the obituary notices, a mean and unimportant person never dies.
Ah say, son, you're about as sharp as a bowlin' ball.
____
Bureaucrat, n.:
A person who cuts red tape sideways. -- J. McCabe
Admiration, n.:
Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves."
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
"Abstainer, n.:
A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure."
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
Aphorism, n.:
A concise, clever statement.
Afterism, n.:
A concise, clever statement you don't think of until too late." -- James Alexander Thom
"Are you ready Steve? (Uh-huh.)Andy?
(Yeah.)Mick?
(Okay.)Alright fellas, well let's goooh!" - Sweet
Are you ready Steve? (Uh-huh.)
Andy? (Yeah.)
Mick? (Okay.)
Alright fellas, well let's goooh!
- Sweet
Bore, n.:
A guy who wraps up a two-minute idea in a two-hour vocabulary."
-- Walter Winchell
-----
2nd Century thoughts on MTV:
"There is no public entertainment which does not inflict spiritual damage" -- Tertullian
"Are vegetarians allowed to eat animal crackers?" -- Evan Leibovitch(?)
"Are you my manager or my messenger?!" --Mike Galluchon
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you're thinking about a mother.-Cliff Clavin, Cheers
"A friend is a present you give to yourself" -- Don Leed(?)
A friend hears the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails.-- Reader's Digest
"A great many people think they are thinking when they are merelyrearranging
their prejudices." -- William James (1842--1910)
"A lawyer is an expert on justice in the same way that a whore is anexpert on love." - s967701@umslvma.umsl.edu
A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.--zinger
A student who changes the course of history is probably taking an exam.
"A University without students is like an ointment without a fly."
-- Ed Nather, professor of astronomy at UT Austin
"And that's when I looked down at the end of the leash and saw that I was'Buck-naked'." - Kelly Bundy, Married... With Children
"Another kind of perfect 10: A 4 with a 6-pack." - Gary Benson
"Apology accepted, Captain Needa." - Darth Vader
"Art is not a mirror. Art is a hammer." -- Darin Powell(?)
Ass, n.: The masculine of 'lass'.
Be proud of your shyness! Whisper it out loud to the world!
"Be yourself. Who else is better qualified?" - Kathy Thurber
"Very funny, Scotty! Now beam down my clothes..."
-Unknown
"Books: You can't grep dead trees." --proverb
Beware of self-styled experts: an ex is a has-been, and a spurt is a drip under pressure.
Bolub's Fourth Law of Computerdom: Project teams detest weekly progress reporting
because it so vividly manifests their lack of progress.
"If I had a dime for every original idea Bill Gates had. . . why I'd have nothing!" - Christopher Meinck
Black Holes are where God is dividing by zero.- dnichols@ceilidh.beartrack.com
"And the beast shall come forth surrounded by a roiling cloud of vengeance.
The house of the unbelievers shall be razed and they shall be scorched to
the earth. Their tags shall blink until the end of days."
-- from The
Book of Mozilla, 12:10
By doing just a little every day, you can gradually let the task completely overwhelm you.
"Caesar had his Brutus, Charles the First his Cromwell, and George the Third—"
'Treason!' shouted Speaker Robinson, 'Treason, Treason!' exclaimed some ofthe
older members.
"And George the Third," Henry repeated, "may profit by their example—"ifthis be treason, then make the most of it!"
Patrick Henry, on being interrupted during his 1765 speech against the Stamp Act in the Virginia House of Burgesses.
***
"Where can I buy folders?"
Apple UK Macintosh Performa Hot line costumer.
"C code. C code run. Run. code, run ..... PLEASE!!!!" -- Jennifer Pick(?)
"C is quirky, flawed, and an enormous success." - Dennis M. Ritchie
C:\WINDOWS> del *.*
"If I had a dime for every original idea Bill Gates had. . . why I'd have nothing!" - Christopher Meinck
Black Holes are where God is dividing by zero.- dnichols@ceilidh.beartrack.com
"No one will ever need more than 640K." - Bill Gates
"No one will ever need more than 256K of RAM."
-Bill Gates
"Imagine the disincentive to software development if after months of work
another company could come along and copy your work and market it under it's
own name...
without legal restraints to such copying, companies like Apple could not afford to advance the state of the art."
- Bill Gates 1983
Rumor has it that, after Microsoft CEO Bill Gates, the
largest set of investors in Microsoft stock is the Board
of Directors of Apple Computer -this explains
everything
"Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it." -- Donald Knuth
MEDICALLLL Banectomy, n.:
The removal of bruises on a banana.
-- Rich Hall, Sniglets
Backwards-compatibility is crippling the computer industry in the 90's.-- Chris Herborth(?)
"Backups? We doan *NEED* no steenking baX%^~,VbKx NO CARRIER" --H. Lesser
Actually, computers just give you a final copy of your thoughts at the latest
moment when you need it or at least within time to open your program...
Apple is a company, but Macintosh is a community. -S.M. King
A great idea needs landing gear, not just wings
"...and remember, the phrase 'software flow control' is only an abbreviationfor
the phrase 'software flow control problem'." -- Bruce McFarling
"An operating system without virtual memory is an operating system without
virtue." - Ancient Inca Proverb
43rd Law of Computing: Anything that can go wr --- "error"
"A Mac mouse is like a clitoris - It's small,pretty badly designed, not very
powerful,and yet it's one of the best things you'll ever touch..."
- Anonymous at comp.sys.cbm
"A distributed system is one in which I cannot get something donebecause
a machine I've never heard of is down" --Leslie Lamport
****
A Canadian???? What's that?
"It's kind of like an American, but with out the gun." *ching*. - Unknown
A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices." -- William James
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